Stuff People Ask Us Sometimes (FAQ)
What’s different about Monster Oil? Why you, and not [insert famous brand]’s lubricant? Tell me some sciencey stuff.
The element that fundamentally sets us apart is our base oil. It’s the cleanest synthetic on the market and has been used in the aerospace and automotive industries as well as NASA for many years. We spent the last twelve months working with our supplier to achieve the best “cocktail” of ingredients we could find. As professional trumpet players who play every single day, part of our research involved using and evaluating this oil every time we picked up our horns until we were confident that it was perfect.
What's your stuff made with?
Our oil is about as simple as valve oil gets. You know how some ice creams have seven thousand ingredients, and some have four - and you think "that second one seems better for me somehow"? We're the second one. Here's what's in it:
- base oil (for the slipperiness)
- solvent (to achieve the right viscosity and keep things clean)
- copper passivator (to keep the corrosion away).
The trick was finding the proper amounts and types of these ingredients – which we finally did!
And if all that wasn’t enough: we are an all-American company – our oil, packaging, and Schwarzeneggeresque (it's a word, look it up) physiques are all made in the States.
Do you test this on animals?
We don't use animal testing for any of our products. Except sometimes Joel gets a little nervous when he sees a Yorkshire Terrier without a leash and will on occasion throw a bottle at the dog in a panic. There have been no ill effects shown to the animal when Joel does this because he usually misses.
I love you guys!! I have a _________ trumpet from 1742. What kind of oil do I need?
Original is probably best for most folks.
- But for those of you who play horns with very close valve tolerances, Faster may be the one.
- Smoother is only for horns that need a very thick oil.
- The slide oil is for slides you want to move on the fly (such as trumpet 1st and 3rd slides).
- And the grease is very heavy - works great on slides you want to stay put.
What if I hate my Monster Oil?! Gosh Monster guys, you are the worst.
We are committed to maintaining a relationship with the brass community for the long haul. To that end, we offer the following:
If you order an oil from us and feel that it is the wrong viscosity, we will send you a different viscosity oil free of charge! We know of no other company that offers this. We want you to be a customer for life, and will do anything to make you happy. (cue Meatloaf - “But we won't do that...”)
How can I possibly ever express how much I love you?
If you have any musical odes, serenades, or chansons d'amour on the subject of Monster Oil, we would love to hear them. There’s a good chance they would end up on our social media pages. Now that we mention it, honestly, please come poke us, or tweet on us, or whatever you’re supposed to do on the Facebooks and Twitter. Our Facebook handle is Monster Oil, LLC, and if the Tweet's your thing, we're @MonsterOils.
If you’ve read down this far, it means one of two things:
- …You’re one of our moms. Or,
- You still have some questions for us.
If either of those sounds like you, we are always around and would love to hear from you, for serious! Please email any or all of us at:
Now go practice!